Perspectives

getting abit dry coz it's all words, words, words. usualli i try to post wif pictures coz i love looking at pics rather den read, and read, and read...hehe...so mayb as a bonus, i shall post some more APB tour pics tat brenda sent to us tis wk.

anyway, as the title suggests, i wana tok abt perspectives. i've been toking to quite a lot of ppl recently...on a personal note & i find the discussions real enriching. besides HQ, LJ, YT, SY & some of my other colleagues...these are the 3 most unique perspectives i was offered.

Marie
she's been like a mentor to mi, both in terms of helping mi wif work & oso on personal advice. though she's not much older den mi, i tink her level of maturity is way beyond her actual age. plus she's so objective tat i realise how petty i am sometimes when she rationalise stuff wif mi. the money changing incident is especially enlighting to mi.

she taught mi tat sometimes i develop expectations of others which i dun communicate or are unjustified. i get caught up in my own world & yesh, end up feeling disappointed or upset over small matters or nuthing at all.

i muz learn to take things easy. if things are meant to b, they're juz meant to b. i should learn to go wif the flow sometimes, it's so tiring to b swimming upstream all the time. our characters are similar in many ways. we're both quite independent & totally candid wif each other.

女人太强很辛苦.
我也不想这样可是我不想假装脆弱.
i am too honest & candid for my own good. but i dun mask my fear...eg. when climbing down from angkor wat...so scary my heart nearly dropped out.

Su Sin
as she puts it, we weren't tat close while working together in CSI but since we got impacted at the same time, the frenship took off from there.

it's strange how i get along so well & 谈得来 wif ppl tat i dun noe for beli long. i guess tis is affinity.

quote & unquote "if u wana tok, tok to a woman. if u want a solution, tok to a man"

i dun agree totally coz most of the time, i am well capable of making my own decisions. juz tat i like reassurance or a sounding board to bounce off ideas.

but the first part abt toking to a woman is true most of the time though there're some men tat i enjoy toking to too. but women can offer more den a listening ear. the level of emotional support, understanding & empathy tat i get from women is totally awesome.

i can live wifout men but i can't live wifout my gfs. i will not forget the way my colleagues & frens rallied ard mi when i needed their support. it saw mi thru my darkest hr.

-kk-
a bit strange to mention him since i haben noe him for beli long.

but as he puts it, 真的很 strange tat all of us met each other in cambodia...haha

firstli, moi & LJ not supposed to b there. our lodging was booked for the following day & we onli managed to get an earlier flight after we arrived in phnom penh. if we had taken the ferry or bus instead, we still wouldn't b there.

and the guys were supposed to leave earli next morning...haha...our paths should nbr haf crossed...if i haven't been so yaya papaya to be toking so loudly...so embarassing to b recognised as singaporeans by the way we behaf / speak : P

anyway, wat i wanted to say is, we had the most unexpected conversation while having prata. he was able to offer mi some insights into things i haben even start to consider.

in a way, it catapults some of my feelings & expectations into perspective, things tat i haven't even began to appreciate i was affected by.

tat was realli useful & made mi more conscious of my 'future' undertakings...haha

HQ was juz asking mi how i was, before the trip. at tat time, i told her tat i am totally disillusioned, not tat disillusioned is not the rite word coz i feel tat it seems to imply the illusion is wrong. in tis case, it's more like total disappointment & losing all faith.

i mean some things are juz not on my agenda anymore. i dun even want to tink abt it.

i didn't realise den tat tis is the 阴影 tat kk was telling mi abt...yesh, it's gonna b tough on the next person.

but my reasoning is tis, since i haf finally worked out wat truly matters to mi, i can't compromise. tat's different from having high expectations in general. it's being very specific in my expectations which i tink is a good thing.

well defined is better den trial & error, rite?

toking abt expectations reminds mi of the 'shall we match' conversations at lunch tdy but tat's another ( very funni ) story altogether.

anyway, i'm still learning to cope.

总有一天, 我会走出阴影的. 我相信.
be patient wif mi, my frens and i'll show u my strength...